Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Almost Mid Life Crisis?

I turned 32 years old last month. I realized I'm only *big sigh* 8 years away from 40. On one hand, it seems like 20 years away from 40 wasn't that long ago. On the other it was..well..a long time ago. I'm probably going to open a big can of worms with this, but I'm going to be completely honest. If you don't know, I'm a stay at home mom. And I feel like life is completely passing me by. I read blogs everyday about moms who just....bloom....by being able to stay at home. They schedule fun activities with their kids. They go on outings with them. They want to *gulp* homeschool. And they love it. Me? I cant wait until school starts in the fall. Then only 3 more years and my youngest will be in school. It makes me feel totally guilty. I've talked to moms who would give anything to be able to stay at home with their kids. They tell me how blessed I am to be able to be there all day everyday for my children. And I know I am, it's just that .......there's got to be more to life than just dirty laundry and dishes, right? At the age of 20, if someone had told me then where I'd be right now at 32, I would have fallen over laughing! I had big plans. And they didn't involve staying in my pajamas for most of the day. Is this just a season in my life, or is this it? Am I going to be an overweight, uneducated stay at home mom until the day I die? There's just got to be more to life than this.........

*I've read back over this post and realize how whiny I sound, but I don't have anyone else to whine to, so please indulge me this?:)*

6 comments:

  1. WOW you sound just like me!!! haha one of my posts talks about this same thing, I homeschool because my son has special needs...I sure never would have believed this is where I would be, and I think when we read blogs a lot of moms keep it really positive and upbeat so we never quite know whats going on behind the scenes, but I struggle with all of these thoughts too and I thought I would have an education and career I could be proud of. Your definitely not alone, I love reading what you have to say, you make a bigger difference than you think just by being honest and down to earth. I stopped by Forks this weekend and thought of you but Edward is really fast, and I think I might smell bad=D

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  2. Thanks Jana! That comment made me laugh! I seriously doubt you smell bad! Of course, none of us can smell like Bella can we?;)

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  3. I don't think you're being whiny at all. I'm totally feeling ya! Although I do work, I'm at home all summer with the kids. And I'm not going to lie, as much as I hate the thought of getting back into the daily grind when school starts back, I also ENJOY the break and like getting out of the house for some adult interaction! I truely admire you moms that stay home. Are you considering getting back into something when your youngest starts school in a couple years?

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  4. Kaycee, I would love to go back to school to become a pastry chef. That is my heart's desire. But we shall see....

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  5. Hey, don't worry about it. Being a SAHM mom is HARD! Heck, I worked for 13 years as an engineer before staying home for 7 after my second was born. Taking care of two kids all day made my engineering job look like a walk in the park!

    Don't worry, you won't be a SAHM mom your whole life, unless of course you have 90 kids, but I'm guessing that won't happen. It does end. The kids do eventually learn to buckle themselves in the car, cut their own food, and (gasp!) even start helping around the house. Hang in there, your day will come. Hugs :)

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